If I had a do over, I would...

Holidays always bring times of reflection to us. And New Year's brings the thought of resolutions. This is the first time that I (Jen) haven't thought about goals or resolutions, per say. One of the greatest things that I picked up this year that worked well for me is making shorter goals instead of goals for an entire year. I made 90 day goals and I accomplished a lot more. That felt great, but I've been thinking what if I had a do over on everything? What would I do differently for my entire life?

Impressing People is Not Worth It: 
I have accomplished not looking so closely at money (to the point of insanity), but it's biting me in the ass. I have to admit, I'm quite stressed out about it all. I feel that we are in a situation that we can't get out of and it's driving me crazy. I've tried techniques including Dave Ramsey and Suze Orman methods. They don't fix it. They don't get the situation under control. I want a redo to 1996 and not sign up for a credit card and in Christmas 1997, not to use said credit card to buy all of my family gifts that I couldn't afford. I honestly never recovered from that decision of going in debt. I've had credit card debt since that year and I can't recover. I want out from under that debt so badly I can taste it.

Don't Say Everything:
I've learned a lot about how to be open and who to open up to in 2012. I've lost a few friends, redefined a few boundaries with a few people, and mended some family and friend relationships a little bit more. Where I'd like a do-over is the moment of sharing too much before it's shared. I don't have to share everything with everyone. Usually what provokes that is that I want to share it because I want them to understand where I or we am/are coming from and why we make the decisions that we do. I struggle a lot with wanting people to understand my point of view and I assume they don't... Maybe they do. And if they don't, does it really matter? Probably not. They'll think what they want anyway. And it's none of their business!!!!

Quit Judging those that Judge:
I have a lot of emotion and anger towards people that judge other people, but I've realized that I'm no different. I'm judging the judges. I don't want to judge the judges. Everyone comes from unique backgrounds and make choices differently based on their backgrounds. And just because someone else sounds like they are judging, doesn't mean they are judging. We're all in this together. I want to just take a chill pill from now on and have peace in my heart about other people's motives. Who cares what their motives are? Let them deal with it....

Don't Sacrifice Mental or Physical Health:
If I had a do over, I'd, **GASP**, be more selfish. The thing is that I watch a lot of people (and I was one of them) sacrifice every part of themselves to the point their expectations and perceptions are so skewed that selfish is considered negative. "Me" time is important. "Friend" time is important. "Hobby" time is important. A job that you love is important. Relationships are important.  Taking care of your mind and your body is important.  INVEST WHERE IT MATTERS! If you have time for other stuff, then do it, but if you don't, stick to the basics!

Don't Trade Money or Opportunity for Friendships that will last a Lifetime:
It's hard to put it in a short paragraph, but I have to say that there are a few very valuable friendships that I have made along the way in various locations. The problem is that they all live many hours away from us. Those relationships matter most to me and I can't be with them regularly. If I had a do-over, I would have tried to stay near those friends instead of taking the path that I chose. Now, in Cincinnati, we do not have near the support system that those friends may have been able to give in Maryland, Seattle (at the time) or Indiana. It takes time to build those friendships and I long to be near them regularly.Wish I would've invested more time with them and not sacrificed so much of them to "better" our situation. They were better than any situation we've gotten ourselves into and those said situations aren't any better anyway. Also, I would've invested way more time into the friendships that matter and that I want instead of the ones that I thought I should have.

  
What does any of this have to do with anything? Glad you asked....

You might wonder what the hell any of this has to do with Brass Hammer Designs. It may not look like it has much to do with it, but it actually has everything to do with it when you look at what motivated BHD to start up and to try to fix all of these said problems. BHD is a business that stemmed from a hobby to try to help offset some of the above things (financial issues, mental/physical health issues, finding fulfillment in work and missing friendships...). It didn't really accomplish any of that, but we got an "A" for effort on our part. We tried for a year now. We're not giving up. However, we are realizing that BHD has a different place in our life and that it cannot fill those voids that we mentioned above.  You may have noticed that we haven't been as active and this is why. We've turned our focuses on Josh finding a job that is fulfilling to him and towards dealing with the mental/physical health issues. This is where we are. We'll always be here and we'll try our damnedest to fill any needs you might have. We always appreciate referrals and purchases. Hopefully you'll continue to stick with us as we have a Work-in-Progress Art Business.

Until Next Time.... Jen Crandall, Wife/Manager
Brass Hammer Designs (Follow us on Facebook, Pinterest, Etsy and Twitter!)